the story of

Sharon and Steve: Why we foster a child with disabilities

“The good times outweigh the tough times and the support is always there for the tough times.”

Sharon and Steve became foster carers with Foster Wales Torfaen 10 years ago and were interested in caring for children with disabilities or learning difficulties right from the start.  They both worked with adults with disabilities and learning difficulties and could see the difference that a good childhood could make to the quality of life they had as adults.

At the start of the assessment process, Sharon and Steve were introduced to an 8 year old boy with very complex physical needs and learning difficulties and, from the moment they saw his photo and read his profile, they knew that they wanted to go ahead and offer him a long term foster placement. “We knew that we always wanted to foster and after speaking to our 7 year old son about it, we knew that the time was right.  It was important to include our son in this decision as we needed to keep him fully involved.”

“Throughout the assessment process, we met the 8 year old boy and had regular contact with him both at the children’s home where he was living and at his school.  Following our approval as foster carers for Foster Wales Torfaen, the local authority supported us to have the required adaptations to our house and we were able to have some home visits before the placement commenced in 2015.”

“We wanted to foster for the local authority because we knew that we would receive excellent support from the fostering team and access to a team of professionals around the child that we could call on for support when we needed it.  Building a good relationship with the team around the child, including education and health, is vital when caring for a child with disabilities.  We cannot fault the support that we have received from the local authority.”

“On the very first night of the placement, we had to go to the hospital because of difficulties caused by vomiting and this was the start of nightly episodes of vomiting, washing, changing clothes and changing the bed but he would then sleep all night.  He would also vomit just before the school bus arrived and would require washing and changing before going to school.  These were difficult times but we forgot about these when his cheeky smile and character started to show through.  He went from a boy who didn’t want any attention to one who thrives on interaction with everyone and is living life to the fullest and reaching his potential.”

You don’t need to have experience of caring for a child with disabilities to be a foster carer for them. First and foremost, they are children and whilst there may be some challenges, the rewards outweigh these.  A full training programme is available to all foster carers to help them to gain the skills required to care for the child and full support is provided by the local authority fostering team and the team around the child.  There are also plenty of opportunities for foster carers to meet other foster carers and build a support network.

“The good times outweigh the tough times and the support is always there for the tough times.  We have been lucky to be able to use family members for periods of respite, which enables the child to stay in his own home and be cared for by people who know him well and are able to meet his needs.  As foster carers it is important to practice some self-care and taking time out as a couple has been vital but without the support of our family, we would not have been able to do this.  We need the support to be able to support him and the consistency of care is key to this.  We sometimes need time to process things and be able to support each other.”

By choosing to foster a child with disabilities, Sharon and Steve feel that they have enriched the lives of their family, especially their son who has benefitted from having this child in his life as much as the child has benefitted from being in this family.  Their son, who is only 6 months older than the child with disabilities, has been the driving force in encouraging his parents to do the things that other families do.  They have all been on cruises and to Disneyland, as well as regularly spending weekends at their caravan.

Both Sharon and Steve have jobs alongside fostering and they have been fortunate to be able to work this around their fostering role.  At Foster Wales Torfaen we strive to match foster carers with a child or young person who is the best fit for their circumstances and this means that maintaining full time employment and fostering is possible.

“Routine is the most important thing for maintaining our employment alongside fostering.  Routine makes life easier for everybody and ensures consistency of care for the child.”
Sharon and Steve were able to offer a placement to a second child in 2019, who has fitted into their family brilliantly.  He found it a little strange at first that the child with disabilities was fed through his stomach but once Sharon and Steve explained this to him, he fully accepted this and now can’t do enough for him.  He interacts and plays with him daily and they are both fully integrated into the family.

“The most positive thing about fostering is seeing the child develop, reach their full potential and have the best life they can.  It is important to give a child you foster the same as your own children irrespective of any disabilities or learning difficulties, as all children deserve the same.”

Sharon and Steve’s advice to anyone considering fostering a child with disabilities is to make sure that the placement is well planned with lots of contact and visits beforehand to help build relationships with the child and so that the child can get to know the environment, as well as the foster family, before moving in.  Routine is vital to the success of a foster placement, especially when there are complex medical needs requiring specialist care and regular medical appointments. 

“Don’t be scared to ask for help as sometimes extra support is needed and you are not failing by asking for this.  We need the support from the whole team around the child to be able to support him.”

“It is so rewarding to see the changes in the child as time goes on.  To see how well he has progressed in school and how he has come out of his shell.  He didn’t want attention initially but now he is able to let us know when he wants interaction, even though he is non-verbal.  It can be difficult but the highlights outweigh the difficulties”

“For anyone considering fostering, just do it!”

Could you foster a child with disabilities?  Could you provide short breaks for a child with disabilities?
Why not get in touch with Foster Wales Torfaen today?  We can answer all of your questions related to fostering, provide you with further information and work out what type of fostering could be a good match for you.
https://fosterwales.torfaen.gov.uk/en/

Story Time

Stories From Our Carers

Woman and young girl using computer to make video call

become a foster carer

get in touch