Jesse’s parents, Amy and Gavin, have been foster carers for Foster Wales Torfaen since 2005. Jesse was born into this fostering household and his parents are currently approved to offer placements to three children. Throughout their time as foster carers, Amy and Gavin have provided foster placements for 15 children and young people, as well as emergency placements for 3 children. Alongside this they have provided respite for 13 children and supported lodgings placements for 2 young people.
We talked to Jesse about being a child of foster carers and asked when he first realised that his parents were foster carers. He told us that he was five when his parents spoke to him about a child moving in with them and asked him if he was okay with this. “It made me feel nice that we help people. It was when I was 11 that my parents told me that a young person who I had always thought was my actual sister, was fostered. Family is more about love than blood and she will always be my sister.”
What it is like when a child or young person joins your family? “Sometimes, it’s a bit nerve wracking having new people coming into the house and because I am an introvert, I find it a bit unnerving but it gets better after a few days. Sometimes it can be loud but it is never boring here and there is always someone to talk to. Sometimes, they come to the gym with me and one young person who is a good cook, talks to me a lot about nutrition.”
What are the positives of being a child of foster carers? “Being part of a fostering family has helped me with my confidence and public speaking. I am able to get along with everyone and accept everyone for who they are and not for their background or life experiences.”
Have there been any difficulties or challenges? “There have been some difficult times when we have had things stolen, when young people have taken drugs and I have heard about awful things that people have gone through. This has made me mature faster and has made me more empathic towards others. I am more aware of drugs, abuse and exploitation than other people of my age and my mum has always worried about me seeing and hearing too much but I feel that it has helped because I have been educated on it and seen firsthand the negatives. I sometimes worry about my younger sister as I always want her to be safe.”
Jesse is 15 and is a very mature young man who feels that he has benefitted from being part of a fostering household, even though there have been some tough times. He shared that he used to feel a little anxious meeting new children and young people but, as he has become older, it is more excitement about meeting them than anxiety. He admits that it has been hard when some of the children or young people have left and he has been very sad to see some of them leave but there is still the opportunity to remain in contact with them. “There were some young people who were difficult to get on with but I knew that they needed my parents more than I did at the time, so I never said anything about them.”
Jesse’s advice for children of foster carers or children of people considering fostering is, “Take your time to get to know people. Give them your time. Be aware of your words because you never know what someone has been through and don’t talk about foster children to others as they deserve their confidentiality.”
How has being part of a fostering family impacted you? “Being part of a fostering family has changed how I judge and view others. I think about and get to know people on a deeper level and I accept people. I know that behaviour is an outward act of how someone may be feeling.
Do you feel supported in your role? “I never feel unsupported because I am always included in every decision by my parents, although I think there should be services available for children of foster carers to access if needed.”
What do you see in your future? Fostering has made me want to join a worthwhile profession when I am older. I want to be a detective and I will possibly foster and adopt too.
If you would like to know more about fostering, whether you have children or not, why not get in touch with Foster Wales Torfaen today? We can answer all of your questions related to fostering, provide you with further information and work out what type of fostering could be a good match for you and your family.
https://fosterwales.torfaen.gov.uk/en/
Email: fosterwalestorfaen@torfaen.gov.uk
Tel: 01495 766669
Choosing Foster Wales Torfaen, is a decision to help children stay local and maintain important bonds. As a local team, we put children at the heart of everything we do.
